Author: Mominah Ambreen
“The thoughts in our minds are not facts.” Joseph Nguyen, Author
Ever noticed how when we have thoughts tied to uncertainty and “what-if” scenarios, our brain automatically starts to defend itself by creating different strategies and situations, and we overthink each one of them? Our brain is naturally wired to respond to the threat. For centuries, this has been a survival mechanism. As human beings, we seek safety and control. To achieve that, we engage with our thoughts and try to respond to them. That’s how we start to believe what we think and act in a way that doesn’t serve us.
Thoughts vs. Thinking
Thoughts are like pop-up notifications. They appear out of nowhere without warning based on the sensory input we receive from the environment, our experiences, and/or interactions. It’s not something that we “do,” but rather something that we “have.” We cannot put any effort into having a thought. You didn’t decide to think about that embarrassing moment from five years ago while brushing your teeth. It just happened.
Thinking, on the other hand, is what we “do” with those thoughts. It is an act of thinking about thoughts. It is an energy-intensive task that takes our mental effort to engage with the thoughts. It’s like picking up a notification and opening a whole thread, reading every comment, and replying to people who didn’t even tag you. We engage with our thoughts through the process of thinking, and that’s how we build our perception of reality. The reality is what is around us, without a meaning, thought, or interpretation assigned to it.
“There is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”- William Shakespeare, Hamlet
Your thoughts aren’t the news. They are the opinion column.
Can we stop having thoughts? No. Can we stop thinking about our thoughts? Certainly not. Why? Because our brains are meant to protect us from potential threats. Its primary role is to help us survive, and it has been serving its role pretty well.
Now the question is, how does thinking about our thoughts initiate a spiral of unhelpful thinking that doesn’t serve us, especially when our minds are battling the fear of uncertainty and what the future holds? When we have a negative thought, it is almost always influenced by a cognitive bias, such as catastrophizing (imagining the worst possible outcome) or magnification (blowing things out of proportion). These mental shortcuts are often inaccurate, but they feel convincing – because, well, it’s trying to protect us, right?. So we start trusting them. We react to them. And before we know it, we’re living in a world created by our thoughts, not reality.
The problem starts when we start to believe our thinking. Instead of challenging our thoughts, we favor them. It takes less effort and energy to ‘go with the flow’ than to carefully analyze them.
So what can we do?
Your brain is doing its job—it’s trying to keep you safe. But “perceived safety” from quickly-put-together-string-of thoughts, and “highly probable outcome” based on information and facts, aren’t the same thing. You can feel anxious and still be okay. You can have a negative thought and choose not to get carried away by it. You can hear the noise and not let it define your day.
Here are some ways to help us not believe everything we think:
#1: Observe
The mind loves control. When life feels unpredictable, your brain rushes to fill in the blanks—even if it has to invent worst-case scenarios.
Try this:
When you catch yourself mentally predicting every outcome or asking “What if?” over and over again – just pause. Ask yourself:
- What certainty am I trying to create here?
- Can I be okay with not knowing the exact outcome?
The goal isn’t to get an answer. It’s about noticing the craving for certainty without needing to satisfy it immediately.
#2: Be present, now
Most thoughts that cause distress come from imagining the future or replaying the past. But the present? It’s usually much safer than the mind makes it seem. The only time we can really step out of thinking mode is when we anchor ourselves in the now.
Try this:
Engage your senses—what do you see, hear, smell, taste, and feel? That’s reality. Stay in the present just observing what’s around you. Give your mind a break from spinning the thoughts.
#3: Challenge
When we’re anxious, our thoughts feel true. But that doesn’t make them factual. Most of our fear-driven thoughts are guesses—our brain trying to predict the future so it can avoid discomfort.
Try this:
Ask:
- Is this happening right now—or am I imagining it?
- What evidence do I have for this?
- What’s another possibility—one that’s less fear-based?
This doesn’t guarantee certainty – nothing does, but it does give you clarity—and that’s often enough.
#4: Get comfortable with uncertainty
You won’t overcome the fear of uncertainty by thinking harder. You overcome it by letting yourself feel the discomfort and realizing that you can handle it.
Try this:
When you feel the urge to fix, solve, or predict—pause. Say to yourself: “This is uncertainty. And I’m okay feeling it.” It’ll feel unfamiliar at first. That’s okay. You’re retraining your brain to understand that uncertainty isn’t a threat—it’s just part of life.
Final word
The need for certainty is completely human. Your brain just wants to protect you. But when that need turns into overthinking, panic, and a constant desire to problem-solve, it’s no longer helpful—it’s exhausting. You don’t need to control everything to feel safe.
You just need to remember:
Not every thought is true.
Not every “what if” needs an answer.
And.. peace doesn’t come from controlling—it comes from letting go of needing to.